The tenderest moments with Spirit will begin as soon as we come into the light of our own souls because this is where we will find our deepest passion, our most comfort, and the greatest love of our heart.
In our lives, it seems that we human beings are constantly waiting; when we are children, we want to grow up, when we are adults we are continually striving for fulfillment and success and as we age , we look forward to retirement and the rest we so richly deserve. We all have our expectations and if those expectations aren’t met our present moment seems empty and every moment that passes, appears extremely long and the waiting becomes a heavy burden because our future remains uncertain and unclear. However, if our expectations are met, then every moment that passes, appears full of joy and seems worthwhile. What would happen if we stopped the waiting and started living now, in the present moment with all its richness and beauty, with all its wonder, with all its challenges and lessons? What if we met each moment without expectation? What would happen if we just let go and surrendered ourselves to the loving will of God? Since having my experiences, I often remember that feeling of the complete surrender to the loving will of God. It was the most freeing, most magnificent feeling I’ve ever experienced. I knew that God held me in the palm of His hand and that I was safe. I knew that He would not let me fall and that He was loving me every single moment. The first time I stared death in the eyes, was at the tender age of thirteen. I faced the inherent built-in survival that everyone faces. At first, I fought hard in order to live, but there came a time when my soul knew it was time to go and my struggle ceased. I let go and surrendered all that I was to God’s loving grace. Over the years it happened again and again. I had no warning. Death came to my life swiftly, four times. There was no waiting for it, there were no plans made for it. Death came like a thief in the night. One minute I was alive and well, the next minute, I was facing the great unknown. There was no last meal or last minute goodbyes. What was, was. I have learned that every instant of every day is precious. There is no more wishing my life away or waiting for this moment or that moment, thinking that those moments will be better or more blessed than the present moment. I realize that all I have is right now, this present moment and this moment is a beautiful gift. Sharon Milliman (c) 2018
Me: Okay, God, here’s the thing. I’m scared. I’m trying not to be, but I am. God: I know. Want to talk about it? Me: Do we need to? I mean, you already know. God: Let’s talk about it anyway… We’ve done this before. God: *waiting patiently, unhurried, undistracted, never annoyed. Me: Okay. So, I’m afraid I’ll do everything I can to protect my family and it won’t be enough. I’m afraid of someone I love dying. I’m afraid the world won’t go back to what it was before. I’m afraid my life is always going to feel a little bit unsettled. God: Anything else? Me: EVERYTHING ELSE. God: do you remember when your daughters were young and one of them would wake up during the night and would come running down the hall to your bedroom? Me: Yes. God: You were still awake, so when you heard her running, you started calling out to her before she even got to you… remember? Do you remember what you called out to her ? Me: I said, “You’re okay! You’re okay! You’re okay! I’m here.” God: Why did you call to her? Why didn’t you just wait for her to get to your room? Me: Because I wanted her to know that I was awake, and I heard her,and she didn’t have to be afraid until she reached the end of the dark hallway. God: Exactly. I hear you, my child. I hear your thoughts racing like feet down the dark hallway. There’s another side to all of this. I’m there already. I’ve seen the end of it. And I want you to know right here as you walk through it all, you’re okay. I haven’t gone to sleep, and I won’t. Me: *crying. Can we sit together awhile? Can we just sit here a minute before I go back to facing it all? God: There’s nothing I’d love more.
What I have learned from a lifetime of spiritual experiences is that this earthly existence is not the true reality. What we experience here is more like a dream. What waits for us on the other side is more real than real. I have also learned that there is a God and God is very real. He goes by many names based on how people are brought up and what their belief systems are. But, whatever name people call Him, there is only one God, there is only one Creator of all that is.
During my second NDE, while conversing with God, I said, “God, your hundredth name in the Koran is God is everywhere, God is nowhere and God is in me.” God’s reply was, “ yes, that is right.” At the time, I honestly had no idea why I had said what I did. I had never read or even seen the Koran, nor did I understand what the words truly meant. But since that time,I have learned the meaning and the concept of those words.
“ God is everywhere “
God is so huge that Heaven cannot contain him; the sky above cannot contain him. God created space, and space cannot contain God. What we think of as outer space cannot contain Him. The biggest space you can imagine cannot contain Him. The God who made the universe and the multi universes cannot be contained in the universe or the multi universes. Heaven, even the highest Heaven cannot contain him. God is uncontainable. God has always been. God existed before the universe and the multi universes existed. God spoke and as He spoke, He breathed the universe and the multi universes into existence.
“God is nowhere “
Because God created everything and cannot be contained by anything He has created, there is nowhere,no secret place that one can go to hide from God. There is nowhere that you can go where God isn’t already there. There is nowhere that He is not. He sees and He knows everything we think and everything that we do, even before we do it.
I learned that God is not a human man. God is! He always has been and always will be. His essence is spirit. Being Spirit and being the Creator of all that is, He can appear in physical form as anything He chooses. He has appeared to others in different forms in the past( yes, it’s written in the Bible). But, for me, during my second Near Death Experience, He appeared as a beautiful, loving man. He appeared as someone I could relate to and was not afraid of. I knew He was God. But, in truth God is immaterial. He has no form. He was that huge loving, formless presence that appeared to me after being struck by lightning. And as I progressed further into my experience, God took form. He took a form that I could understand and relate to, one that brought comfort and put me at ease. During my fourth NDE, I went to a place called “The Void” and as I laid wrapped within a soft, black velvet blanket, in this warm, dark place, God appeared again. He was a huge loving, presence and once again, He took on form. It was the same form he had taken on during my second NDE but this time, He was huge. He was bigger than huge and He stood over me. Then He held me in His huge hands, telling me to just rest in Him. I felt so protected and loved beyond words. There was no fear. I felt only His love, warmth and protection. Human words cannot adequately explain God. But, His being is always fully present everywhere. He is fully present with me right now as I write this. He is fully present with you as you begin your day. He is giving each of us his undivided attention, and he is fully present in each of our lives, every single moment. He loves us so much that we are always in His divine mind, every single moment of every single day. If He stopped thinking of us for even an instant, we would cease to be as if we never were. Because God is who He is and His love is so great, His love is uncontainable. It is all encompassing. It is never exclusive. He loves each one of us as if we were the only one that He ever created. He loves you. He loves me. He loves all of us, individually, as if we were the only one ever created and He can do this all at once. He is omnipresent and omnipotent which means, He is everywhere and He is all knowing. Being everywhere and all knowing means there is nowhere that we can go where God is not already there and fully present.
“God is in me”
God spoke and as He spoke, He breathed each of us into being. We hold within our being His breath of life. We literally carry part of His DNA within us. He literally gives us a part of Himself, His essence, His Spirit. He is “In” everything He has ever created. God is in me, He is in you. God is in the trees, the birds, the flowers, the mountains and the deepest blue seas. God’s hundredth name is Ana which means “Me/ I Am.” “I am everywhere, I am nowhere and I am in you.”
When people do not learn from the past, they are destined to repeat the same mistakes. God is the Creator of the universe and all life flows from Him. He is Love and perfect love emanates from Him. All that He created is right and good and all things are connected to God and exist in harmony with Him. When we as human beings step out of His order of doing things, when we act out of selfishness instead of love, harmony ceases to exist, and then chaos and destruction ensue throughout the world, then we are to blame, not God. God wants us to depend on Him as the ultimate source for our life and existence. Because of His great love for us, God gives every one of us the gift of free-will. God is a gentleman, He will not force, nor will He step in to stop us from making foolish choices. He leaves it up to us to either choose to follow His direction or choose to follow our worldly, selfish ways. The opposite of love is not hate, it is selfishness and hatred is born out of selfishness. We choose. We decide and We can recreate. The horror that is happening in our world today does not need to happen. There is too much at stake. We as a human race must come together, all of us and learn from the past so as not to repeat the same horrific mistakes over and over. We need to celebrate the things we have in common and learn from each other those things that are different. We will never make it if things do not change. We are divided as a people based on ,race ,creed, political views, and most ridiculously, skin color. God created every single one of us in His image and likeness. He does not divide us, We have done that. I was raised in a way that exemplifies unity. There are many different colors in a rainbow but it is still ONE rainbow. A rainbow is a message of hope. We still have hope. I do not see color, religion, tradition as a means to separate or as means of division. I see people. I see souls. ALL beautiful and ALL one , like a rainbow. ALL people matter. We can change the way things are going, we have a choice but with every choice there are consequences; good choices bring good consequences whereas bad choices bring bad consequences. We are human beings and we all belong to one race, the human race. It’s time to heal the past by honoring each other, by forgiving each other for the horrible experiences some human beings have inflicted upon others in their selfishness thereby taking away another’s God given gift of free will. No one person is better than any other person. We are all in this together, as a people, as the human race, to fix this mess we created and are living in right here, right now. It takes Love, it takes courage, it takes forgiveness, it takes respect, it takes being humble and honoring each other. We are at a precipice. We have a choice. We cannot live in the past, no matter what horror existed,we must take responsibility, seek forgiveness and heal.
During my last NDE I felt Gods love for me so deeply it was so huge. It was a love like I had never experienced before. he appeared to me and spoke and we talked quite a while and as I looked into his eyes , I saw eternity . And in that moment ,I could feel his love so completely. It was as if I was the only one he had ever created. And then I realized that no matter how huge the universe is and how very tiny I am in the grand scheme of things. I am a very important part of everything he created because everything is connected , interwoven like the golden threads of a tapestry. Just as you are. His love for all of us is that same way. And what he taught me was that every single thing he created is an extension of his love. He didn’t create us to serve him , he serves us so that we can serve others with his love.
Sharon Milliman (c) 2016
My meeting with God taught me that with God everything is Grace. Our very existence is by His Grace. If He stopped thinking about us for one second, we would cease to exist. He is constantly pouring out His love and grace upon us. There is a saying “There but for the grace of God go any one of us”. Truly, it is by His grace that we are where we are in life. When I had my life review, I never felt as though I was being judged. God does not judge us, we judge ourselves standing before Him. But, as I watched my life passing before me, in my life review, I saw everything I ever said or did and there was no sense of remorse or guilt. All I felt was complete love and total acceptance. There was no sense of being held bound by any past events nor were there any feelings of anger or resentment or any unresolved issues tying me down and keeping me trapped in time. All had been forgiven. I had let go of everything. I had been forgiven. I learned that forgiveness is the freedom of letting go, that the “letting go”, was a journey of healing for my body and for my soul. It’s a journey because some hurts take a lifetime to forgive and we just can’t do it on our own.
We need God to help us. But the WILL to forgive is the first step. Forgiveness is a process and it takes time, sometimes it takes years, and in some cases a lifetime. I learned that forgiveness is a creative act that takes us from prisoners of the past with hurtful memories, to strong, loving people living in the present who are free of the chains that kept us bound, and are now at peace. There is peace because all of the unresolved issues, and the hurt, and bitterness are gone which brings peace to the soul and harmony to one’s life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting the wrong that was done to us; it means no longer feeling the pain that was done. If we hold on to the bitterness and the hurt and the unforgiveness, it becomes a chain that keeps us held bound. We don’t have to forgive others. It is not a requirement. But if we want to be free and we want to heal from the hurts of life, then it is something that we need. Normally, the other party, or parties involved really don’t care if they are forgiven, especially if they haven’t asked for forgiveness. In most cases, they have gone on with their lives, completely oblivious to the devastation, and the hurt still left in our heart. That’s why forgiveness is important; it breaks those chains and frees our heart. We need it in order to grow, otherwise we become stuck. When we become stuck we no longer feel God’s grace. Of course, His Grace is always there, it is constant, it is unending, it is eternal, and it is for everyone, but because we have become stuck, we just don’t feel it anymore. And then, we begin feeling the illusion that God has abandoned us.
We need to allow forgiveness to flow through us and around us; and when we are aware that we are now free from those chains that held us bound, we are free to love unconditionally and we can send that unconditional love out into the world around us. Then, the natural flow of God’s divine love dissolves all the hurt, all the bitterness, all the pain and the sense of being wronged. Then, we can allow His grace to come to us and flow through us, to forgive through us. Then, there is no more of the illusion of separation, no more feelings of abandonment.
Forgiveness is the greatest form of love. Love is an act of endless forgiveness. It is a gift that God gives us and it is through His grace that we experience this gift.
Sharon Milliman (c) 2016
After my Near Death Experience, I found it very hard to live I this world. I didn’t know how to integrate having been in Heaven and sitting in the presence of God and then being sent back. I found the world to be cruel and harsh, at least my world was. So, I spent a lot of time in prayer. This story is about one of those days.
It was a warm sunny spring day I had taken the dogs outside and was sitting out in the back yard just enjoying the soft spring breeze against my skin. It was another one of those days when God moved his hand and pushed the veil aside and for just a few moments I could once again have a glimpse of Heaven. Not only that, Jesus had come to visit me. He was smiling that beautiful smile He has. He was standing by the fence, over by the flower garden, and the sun shone down on him as He began to speak to me. He held in his hand a fully open, soft pink rose. He held it out to me as he said these words “This life is a journey that all must take. Yes, you are hearing me now. You are seeing me now. Please don’t question yourself so much. These messages that you are being given are true and valid. You have the answers, and you do know the truth. The answers have always been inside your heart.
Stand at your gate and take the rose, my precious Dove. It’s time for you to fly. Today is a new and wondrous beginning. You were like a caterpillar all wrapped up tight inside a cocoon but you are now emerging out as a beautiful butterfly. I love you and will always love you. You will never walk alone. I walk right there beside you. So hold your head up high and always spread your joy and love. Listen, quiet your heart and be at peace for I am always with you. If you don’t hear me talking, it’s because you are not listening. You have the courage and the strength to do all that your heart desires and All that My Father has called you to do. It has been shouted from the highest mountains and heard in the lowest valleys. Its whisper has been heard throughout all human experience. So you must trust that it is true. Trust and believe, with all of your being that LOVE is the answer. It is Agape Love, Pure, unconditional love that is the answer. Believe in and expect miracles, for they will happen. When you quiet your mind and spirit, answers will come. My Father knows you. He knows that when you go into nature you will find rest. Nature is where you will become one with all that is, all that was, and all that will ever be. Know that in this place you will find your greatest peace and joy. You will never walk alone. Not ever, and all those who went before you, are all around you loving you and supporting you in your walk on this earthly plane. Open your heart and don’t be afraid. Just cast all your fears aside and accept your new life. Just be at peace. Remember this; I am in you and all around you. Turn wood and you will find me. Lift a stone, I am there. Like the sun warms your skin, I will touch you, and as the rain washes you, I will also. Without you, I am nothing. With you, I am eternity.”
A Song in the Wind 